I don't lie. At least that's what I tell myself.
Are white lies even considered actual lies anyway?
If you aren't familiar with the term, white lies are minor lies which could be considered harmless, or even beneficial. White lies are often used to shield someone from a hurtful or emotionally damaging truth, especially when not knowing the truth seems completely harmless.
So, if someone asks you about their performance, outfit, whatever thing they might be insecure about or just want to get approval on, should you speak your mind, and say that their presentation was boring or their song a bit off-key? It's always hard to hear something like this, especially when you're insecure about that thing. And even saying it to someone else is hard if you care about other people's feelings a lot.
Some people ask things like "Did I do well in my presentation?", when they obviously didn't. You can say the truth in a kind way, of course, but I think most of us would say something along the lines of: "Yeah, you did a good job!" even we don't believe it ourselves. And it's good to encourage people, but should't we be tactfully honest, even if it's not as pleasant for them to hear it?
I think the idea is to check whether you're giving an answer because you're being a people-pleaser or because you genuinely want to encourage that person.
There is another problematic situation for me. It happens that people see or hear bits of information you didn't intend to make public. Then, most of the time knowing you're not comfortable answering, they will ask about it anyway. When I'm in this kind of situations, I either avoid the question as best as I can, mumble something, laugh, ask why is it important for them to know, tell them something else related to the subject hoping they get the memo and don't ask again. I do my best to not tell lies. But why do you have to give me such a hard time?
People want to be asked about themselves, they like talking and sharing stuff, some less, some more. And I know that. But because the aforementioned phenomenon, I sometimes tend not to ask some questions that I think might be uncomfortable. Because, as the Bible says: "so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you" (Matthew 7:12), I don't like others asking me questions I don't want to answer and therefore I don't do it to others. Simple.
So, don't you think I'm not interested in your day/problems/relationships etc. if I don't ask you a lot of questions. I just don't want to put you in an uncomfortable situation. :)