I can't stress enough how much words can mean. The impact they have depends of course on lots of factors: how well you know the person, the circumstances in which they said those words, their body language, their tone, and other countless ones. But the thing is, I think we almost always underestimate the power words have.
Probably that's why we sometimes take the liberty to make hurtful jokes and offensive comments to get the approval of others, thinking that if it's something funny, the person that we made fun of will not be as hurt, that they'll forget about it, or take it only as a joke. There are cases when this happens. People with a great sense of humor or very close friends might know that what you said was just for laughs, but even then, it doesn't mean that the thought that there might be a grain of truth in the 'joke' never ever crosses their minds.
I'm guilty of this more often than I'd like to admit. I find myself making jokes that I wouldn't necessarily like to be the subject of. I suppose it's because I got used to hearing jokes on my behalf (from my brother, of course :P). And this has a good part too, because I'm not really sensitive, and I can take offence really well. I don't get upset easily because of jokes (if they're funny and not just plain rude!). But the drawback is that I tend to forget that not all people are like this. I often realise that what I've just said might hurt someone's feelings. Then, I quickly try to make it really obvious that I don't actually mean it, that I like to make people laugh and that's the only reason I made the joke. But, the truth is, if you point out someone's flaws, even if you don't think something's a big deal, they will probably think it is, especially if they're insecure about that thing.
On the other hand, the positive effects of a friendly, wise or encouraging remark can be much stronger than we imagine. "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver." - Proverbs 25:11
I get enough compliments, approving and nice remarks. But I find that some of them have a surprisingly lasting effect. A simple appreciation of my work, actions or character, or an encouragement to keep going can make my day, raise my self-esteem and give me the motivation I often so much need.
By this, I don't mean flattery or excessive praise, and not even traditional compliments, like "Nice shirt", "You're really beautiful" or stuff like that. I might enjoy hearing these at times, but nothing compares to "Thanks for being a good example for my little girls" or "You've done such a great job with this" - specific things that people appreciate, things that I did, that I had to fight for, not just remarks regarding my appearance or intellect. I don't deserve praise for that. I didn't do anything to look the way I do. But when you tell me I did something well, especially things I think would go unnoticed, it warms my heart and makes me want to do my best.
So, thank you, people that have expressed their positive thoughts to me. It was helpful. Words last longer than you think.